MNPOLYCON 2022: THE DIVERSITY OF POLYAMORY

Relationship Anarchy is a much debated and oft-misunderstood approach to relationshipping. RA is characterized by principles such as autonomy, freedom from definitions that place arbitrary values on specific connections, and the rejection of romantic relationship primacy . . . but few realize how widely accessible and applicable these principles are across the spectrum of non-monogamy. This workshop will discuss ways to employ the philosophy as it applies to you, even if you never identify as a relationship anarchist.

Ethical non-monogamy opens our lives up to a variety of new relationships. One of those is the relationship you have, or don’t have, with your partner’s other partners. What are your hopes for these relationships? How do you cultivate strong bonds in a society that pits you against each other? What are some good reasons to keep your distance? How can a hinge partner facilitate harmony? In this workshop we'll discuss the best strategies for success regardless of your desired outcome.

Discussion on how to navigate polyamory when children are involved:  How to talk to your kids about non monogamy in age appropriate language, when and how to introduce new partners, risks and challenges, and how to open that conversation with new or potential partners.

When beginning to explore poly, some folx may subconsciously approach it due to deep fears, trauma, and insecurity. Marie LePage's journey started exactly like that. When no amount of partners or validation or sex "fixed" their life, they ran out of places to run and had to start turning inwards. Together we will explore how to practice any type of relationship on this planet, by going inward and having a relationship with your Self first. Wisdom in this session will also be sourced by the attendees. 

This moderated discussion/motivational working session will encourage participants to think about how they can be a part of making the world a more accepting place for ENM folks of all flavors. We'll talk about what can motivate folks to make their personal lives more public, how to disrupt monogamy-normative language without outing yourself, what a more accepting society would look like, and how we can take small and large steps to get there. We'll touch on different ways people contribute to social change individually and as parts of organizations. Depending on the interests of the group, we may explore the intersections this work has with existing bi+ and trans activism and sex positivity movements.

After a brief introduction to core BDSM concepts, we will discuss how different forms of ENM show up in the Kink community, how boundaries that seem perfectly clear in the vanilla world can be much more complicated in kinky play, and how what may look like ENM may not be. We'll almost certainly have a lively discussion about what is and isn't kinky. There will be a lot of time for questions and discussion. Bring an open mind, your curiosity, and remember: your kink is OK, my kink is OK. Or...don't yuck my yum.

This workshop focuses on discussions for those who identify both as polyamorous and as practitioners of spirituality. Various historical and theological examples will illuminate conversations centered on the sacredness and divinity within polyamorous practices and inherent within human sexuality. Viewpoints and practices of major world religions concerning polyamory will be consulted and examined, along with indigenous and other various avenues of religiosity and spirituality. The main goal is to intentionally facilitate open dialogues around existing and newly emerging modes and methods of “doing” polyamorous spirituality, taking cues and wisdom from current discussions within queer theology and queer theory, along with other academic ventures into sacred sexuality. The workshop will be approximately ½ presentation and ½ open questions and discussions facilitated by the presenter.

How can you tell the difference between a boundary and a rule? What does it mean to make an agreement? Aren’t ultimatums always bad? In this workshop we’ll answer all of these questions and more. Healthy boundaries are the foundation of a healthy relationship and we’ll discuss how to identify our own as well as communicate them. 

1. How ENM treats gender diverse people
2. Bridging the gap between Heteronormative dating and Sexually Diverse Dating.
3. Discovering and exploring your sexuality within ENM.
4. How to handle changing world views
5. Coming Out! To friends, family, kids, lovers the world.
   
   
   
   
   
   

Rusty (she/her) has been an educator and speaker in both the non-monogamous and kink communities since mid-2016. She is passionate about diversity, inclusion, acceptance, direct communication, and personal accountability. In addition, she draws wisdom from over a decade in the recovery community and a background in critical sociolinguistics. She identifies as queer, kinky, non-binary, feminist, and a relationship anarchist. Her writings on ethical relationships can be found at: http://www.polywithabigheart.com 

The Rev. Dr. Bryan Allen Demeritte, M.S., M.Div, Ph.D., N.Th.D.

Bryan is a lifelong spiritual practitioner with practical religious backgrounds in Mainline Progressive Christianity, Zen Buddhism, as well as in various Pagan and other indigenous traditions, such as the Tiv traditions from West Central Africa and the Cherokee and Seminole traditions of the North American Southeast. Bryan has a master’s degree focusing in part on educational psychology and other master’s degree in divinity focusing on progressive Christian sexual ethics, followed by the recent completion of a Doctor of Philosophy degree in practical theology with specialties in religious education and narratives of world religions. In addition, he is an ordained Anglican/Episcopal priest, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, an ordained minister in the Progressive Christian Alliance. Bryan teaches both undergraduate humanities, religion, philosophy, psychology, sociology, and history courses at three universities as well as graduate religion, theology and education courses at three seminaries. He currently is finishing the publication of a book that engages polyamory by developing a queer understanding of the Christian trinitarian formula as a dynamic intimate spiritual cosmic polyamorous relationship as a partial requirement for the completion of his second doctoral degree - in New Theology. Bryan identifies as polyamorous and as a cisgender gay man with he/him pronouns, married for 16 years (9 legally) to his husband and partnered with his boyfriend for 4 years.

Paula identifies as a cisgender, bisexual, solo poly female who practices ethical non-monogamy and has a history of blending theatre with social justice efforts. Paula is currently pursuing a Masters degree from Metro State University. Her research focus: “The Legacy of Racialized Trauma and Its Impact in the US Economy. 

Umar M. Williams is the Chair of MNPoly and our conference emcee. p/k/a Papi Umar Malik, Umar is a Twin Cities Radio personality on KFAI and KRSM, professional musician, and an Anti-Racism and Reconciling Educator and Activist. Umar comes with a unique perspective of CENM life as BIPOC steeped in Afro-Caribbean and Afro-US culture loving and living radically in white centered spaces.

Todd Berntson: Professionally, I was a licensed clinical therapist who focused on not traditional relationships for many years, and worked with hundreds of folks who were in some form of ENM relationship. I was a member of the Kink-Aware Network for many years, and even was listed as a safe therapist for sex workers. I have given numerous workshops in the Twin Cities, Orlando, and San Francisco, primarily on the topic of managing the unique interpersonal emotional challenges of non-traditional relationships. I usually discuss some of the fundamental emotional needs that we have as human beings, such as the sense of safety, a sense of being valued, and sense of empowerment, etc., and how understanding these needs can help us navigate through issues of jealousy, feelings of abandonment, and threat. 

Camille Holthaus (she/her) tried monogamy in college and found it wasn't for her. Over the years, she's lived many different types of ENM as her relationships and her self-awareness changed. Camille has also been a bisexual activist and community organizer since the early 1990's, increasingly blending that with social and racial justice work. Currently, she is a member of the Visibility Impact Fund, the first giving circle dedicated to funding bi, pan, fluid, and queer organizations and programs and also sits on the Technical Advisory Board at Theatre in the Round in Minneapolis.

LB (she/her) has been an active member of the Twin Cities BDSM and kink community for sixteen years. She enjoys sharing what she knows and has taught "Bottoming for Impact Play" at MSDB's The Lab as well as "Creating a Welcoming Community" for Doing It MN. LB has had both kinky and vanilla ENM relationships and has navigated the complexities of kink and ENM negotiations across a wide variety of relationship types. She currently lives with her nesting partner in a power exchange relationship and enjoys a vanilla-ish relationship with her girl friend.